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Fixing Those Pesky Wait Stats

David Alcock keeps us from having to think:

CXPACKET

Attempt to pronounce parallellellellellism correctly then set MAXDOP to 1.

PAGELATCH

Mention TempDB and contention in the same sentence. Delete TempDB

BACKUP_

Delete any long running backup jobs. If wait persists then delete all backup jobs.

Click through for plenty of excellent nuggets of advice which definitely won’t land you on the unemployment line.