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Reducing Trigger Executions

Jared Poche writes up a fun scenario he discovered:

I’ve never been a fan of triggers. I don’t like the idea of them adding an additional tax on every operation. It’s easy to forget they are even there, consuming your cycles. I’ve even seen a few nasty death-by-a-thousand-cuts scenarios with them. But I found something out this week that makes me like them even less.

I was tuning a procedure that runs 284 million times a day.

Over a number of servers and databases, but yes, that number is correct. It takes 2.5ms to run on average, with 1.0ms of CPU time. I’ll spare you the math, but that means over 3 cores of SQL Server are doing nothing but running this procedure 24/7/365. Anything we can do to improve this will be significant, even if we just shave off half a millisecond.

The best stories start with “I was tuning a procedure [which] runs 284 million times a day.”