Rant: NoSQL Isn’t A Thing

Grant Fritchey is in rare form today:

Go and search through it for a NoSQL data management system. I’ll wait.

You found one that was named NoSQL didn’t you. Oracle NoSQL, because Oracle. Of course. However, under the Database Model what did it say? Document Store. Why?

BECAUSE NOSQL IS NOT A DATA STORAGE ENGINE!

There is not a NoSQL thing to use. You can’t compare NoSQL to anything because NoSQL is just a different screed, a rant, a tantrum. A bunch of influential developers threw themselves on the floor, screaming and kicking, spittle flying everywhere, because they didn’t want to eat their broccoli.

Wait, that was my kids when they were three.

As the voice of reason (and you know you’re in trouble when that’s the case!), non-relational engines take up 6 of the top 15 slots.  There are particular advantages to non-relational data stores—as Grant willingly notes—and as companies grow, specialized data storage can become quite useful.  But relational databases are a great starting point and for good reason:  they solve a subset of problems extremely well and solve most problems well enough.  This is probably also a good place to drop in a reference to Feasel’s Law.

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