Scalar Function Single-Threadedness

Erik Darling has another blog post showing that scalar functions inside computed columns are a very, very bad thing:

The first couple times I tried, the DBCC check never went parallel. Since I’m on my laptop, and not a production server, I can set Cost Threshold for Parallelism to 0. You read that right, ZE-RO! Hold onto your drool dish.

Friends don’t let friends write scalar functions.

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Table Variables And Parallelism

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Non-Blocking Aggregations

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